Study break durations never seem enough.
It is at this time of the semester that things that do not normally interest me, interest me exceedingly. This includes Youtube surfing (one click becomes... infinite clicks on "recommended videos for you"), reading random articles that my Facebook friends share on their walls, compulsive Facebook-ing, cooking, and... Candy Crush. I am disappointed to say that after a long time of not playing this frustrating game that requires 'friends' to 'unlock episodes' and 'give you lives'... In the past week, I have levelled up from a noob level of 60+ - where I stopped months back because I got stuck for so long I gave up - to level 134.
For the people who are consistently annoyed by Candy Crush invitations, I apologise if I have sent you any... I make extra effort to only send 5 invitations to 5 currently active Candy Crush player-friends, in the hope that I will be less of a nuisance to the general non-playing public.
These are usually stuff I don't do often on the Internet. So it's scary now when I see myself being sucked into a cyber-vortex, somehow subconsciously repelling myself from the idea of studying. When you're having exams, sleep and the Internet are the most interesting things ever.
*****
I want to be so many things, that I'm not even sure that I want to be anything at all.
This really explains my thoughts at the moment. I've been stretched pretty thinly the past month, and I had to deal with school, my project commitments (this sem saw bigger and tougher projects), personal twice-a-week commitments, some weekly music stuff, my boyfriend, and managing my inspiration and influences.
What I got out of all of this, despite some murmuring under the breath from the boyfriend (haha, I'm sorry), in the past month is that, it truly made me happy. Every day I'm thankful for the divine push that pushed me in this direction to pack my schedule with things that I love to do, and that I enjoy very, very much, instead of bumming around my excess time doing nothing at all.
Never underestimate one's ability to derive exponential pleasure from bumming around.
My first line of this section sounds jaded, but that's untrue. I feel happy. I read a line in some random book my boyfriend was browsing. Just 30 secs of his browsing (i.e. page-flipping), and this line hit me.
"A wrong map is better than no map."
Of course I don't agree with it with 100% of my soul and all... but I thought that it serves as an encouragement to most people who have made many plans, but their plans are often met with put-downs from their peers, family members, or people whom they care about.
For me, I love people with some sort of workable future plans in their life. I mean hey, they bothered to think of the future, what they like to do, what they want to do, blah blah you get my drift. Being able to 'take control of one's life' is a trait that I really admire, and a trait the people around you should appreciate. Having that, is actually much better than having a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife who is perfectly content with being a couch potato.
Somehow people who fully listen to their husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends/wives/parents about every single aspect of their life, I have one acronym for you and it's "YOLO".
You only live once (and die once, sure) and you're really going to choose to be steered by everyone around you except yourself?
Life without purpose is shitty and uninspiring. I've been there. Rolling around the bed watching movies and American drama series after my 'A' levels and taking a gap year (I was working an office job full-time though) before I started on University. I look back and I'm like "wow, I'm never going back to that." It was a great time, sure.
But really. I'm never going back.
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