The Wedding and 2017

One monumental milestone in my lifetime occurred in December 2016, but not without a whole lead-up of exhaustion, countless expectations and small and large conflicts. Weddings are exhausting! I have developed a big bucket of respect for couples who have held it together throughout the wedding process - because honestly, it's a challenge to stay sane (without falling to pieces) with everyone trying to be part of cooking the broth, but not really contributing, and pointing fingers in different directions. I'm not saying that either one of us fell apart before the wedding, neither did I turn into the popular-coined term "bridezilla" (at least my bridesmaids said I didn't, and I'll take their word for it lol), but the lead-up to any wedding has got to be the most stressful situation two people will ever have to be in.

Think of the most stressful moment in your life, and multiply the negative emotions times 50. That's a wedding for you.

For two people who generally make a lot of our own decisions (and have no qualms about standing ground in tough situations), in all touch-my-heart honesty, we were not only nudged into certain things but shoved down a cliff into some. Were we happy about it? No. Did we take it out on each other? Sometimes. Did we learn from the process? Probably. Everyone brought to the table their good thoughts and intentions, I know, understand, and appreciate all the goodness in each's heart - I know this line appears 100% sarcastic, but if you know me well, you know I actually do talk exactly like that in real life, deal with it! - but, every single person's good intentions put together are often conflicting and the wedding couple cannot please everyone. What results is simply a couple stressed out by their loved ones and friends, while opinion contributors feel unheard and not respected, and no one is happy. Lose-lose. Why should such a happy (and expensive) occasion be lose-lose? 

It is these times that make me reflect on my priorities in life, and this wedding had also greatly opened my eyes to all the good people I count myself very blessed to know. This is not another 'Thank You' message, as I have given two 'Thank You' messages already (and my newly-minted husband is asking me to put a lid on it, ha). You guys know who you are!

B..b..but... I will just like to shine a small virtual spotlight on my best ex-housemate - my father:
My father is more often a friend, and he was every bit as lovely as he could be throughout the (trying) process. I shared some of my or our (non-financial) struggles with regard to the wedding and he would always quietly listen and offer some constructive comments while slotting some lame puns and crass comments here and there to make it all light-hearted. True to Tan family's usual ways of handling things - it is to "never take yourself too seriously".

I'm glad we didn't make a big deal of the wedding, both being born-crazy type of planners on a normal day. We planned whatever we could, and whatever we could not control, we let it slide (even though some were really quite hard to swallow!). There are just that many things in your world that you can control, and some days, some variables will disappoint you, some variables will (rudely) surprise you, some will make your day better, some will exceed expectations. You never really know.

The wedding couple will like to say that most importantly, we had fun on our wedding day. We were made happy by things that went right, pleased that there weren't that many unanticipated bad surprises, and glad and honoured to share such an important occasion in our lives with that many people.

We are grateful to be alive and healthy, and we are grateful that the people we love are alive and healthy.

This 2017, as the world seems to grow increasingly hostile to its inhabitants, remember that people in other parts of the world are having their homes bombed to nothing while you're complaining how small your 5-room HDB flat is... People in other parts of the world are searching for scraps in unhygienic places while you're queueing 3 hours for Hai Di Lao weekly. There is nothing wrong with aspiring to live in a larger house, or spoiling yourself with a 'luxury' meal at times, but what we need is a realignment of our mindsets. If you have got food, water, shelter, a job, loved ones down pat, you already have it better than most people.

With that, we wish everyone a fulfilling and lovely 2017.