Life in Singapore: Queue-cutters

Taking buses and trains in Singapore to get around has pretty much become an unavoidable situation. Cars have recently become completely unaffordable (unless you are already very rich, probably already have a car, and don't necessarily need a second or third one), cabs are usually already-hired when you need them and walking is definitely not practical in Singapore's all-year summer heat.

Also, to add to the already-sad case of public transportation in Singapore, Singapore's weather doesn't make the public transport experience any better. How do I put this? Well, the weather is kind of a bitch. It's commonly scorching hot in the afternoon and raining cats and dogs with extremely loud thunder accompanied by fierce, frequent lightning in the evening. 

Despite all these inconveniences, whether man-made or of natural elements, I still enjoy taking public transport.

Public transport, after all, has its perks. 

1. Never worry about being completely blur about getting to your destination. As long you know the rough area, the bus uncle/aunty driver should be able to help you.  
2. Never worry about your iPhone Maps draining your battery when you don't have a car phone-charger.
3. Never worry about car park charges.
4. Never worry about fighting for car park lots at your overbooked HDB car park at night. 
5. Never worry about allocating time before a date for parking your car, which occasionally can take up to half an hour, if you're outta luck. 

But...

There's this one thing I particularly cannot stand about public transport... and who's what's that?

Queue-Cutters

Queue-cutters are those common douche bags you see lurking around the front of the interchange bus queue line or at bus stops. They await just the right moment to zip in front of you, as though they were first in queue. They also commonly sprint to the bus seats to immediately plop their victorious queue-cutting asses on the bright orange SBS Transit bus seats. During peak hours, this queue-cutting practice is even worse. Because there are so many people, the queue-cutters are actually made up of... not one, not two, but sometimes even ten of them, strangers, but all united in the same queue-cutting cause. 

And the most annoying part of it? NO ONE (in the proper and right queue) SAYS ANYTHING. 

I don't know if it's all part of our Asian culture to keep quiet and silently swallow saliva when we're being 'bullied', but our silence expresses our acceptance of such behaviour. It's also ironic. Because if everyone's Singaporean and so "asian", the said queue-cutters surely wouldn't be practising queue-cutting because it's rude and shows that you have no values, no manners, make your parents look bad, blah blah blah. You know how we Asians can get. So ok, that quiet acceptance of being bullied really bothers me. 

For one, I am not hateful towards ALL queue-cutters - If you legitimately need to cut the bus queue or invisible train-queue because you are 

1) disabled (e.g. wheelchair-bound)

2) mentally unsound (and perhaps not aware that you are cutting the queue) 

3) injured (e.g. crutches and/or leg brace)

4) very, very old 

5) a combination of one or the other and carrying many things 

then, fine! I'm perfectly okay with these people. I mean, they didn't ask to be disabled, mentally unsound, injured, very-very-old, or a combination of one or the other! I mean if anyone had a choice, they would choose to be perfectly healthy, able, forever 21, and sane right?

Then there are these fully-able queue-cutters...

The common queue-cutters and their brief descriptions:

1) The Kancheong Spider Aunty

This aunty is a real winner. If you want to rate her, she is definitely a 5 out of 5 stars queue-cutter. She springs out of nowhere like a ninja, flys straight to the door of the bus when it opens to receive passengers, usually comes armed with a long umbrella and fake Longchamp bag and almost always sits on the first seat in the bus, either right behind the driver, or diagonally from the driver. 

She occasionally also strikes up a conversation with the bus driver while the trip is ongoing.

  

2) The Self-Declared Bus Driver's Friend

This guy is pretty impressive. He stands around the bus queue waiting area (but not in the queue) and usually looks kinda lost. He hovers and walks about and normally gives off the middle-aged to fully-able 50+ year old vibe. He also dresses pretty casually and relaxedly, like he's retired or unemployed. The moment the bus door opens, he flys out of his little hovering corner, and starts having a conversation with the driver. While talking, he sprints up the bus and gets into a seat. This guy usually sits on one of the 4-seater set of seats (2 seats, facing 2 seats) right behind the first seat of the bus. 

If you're lucky, you also hope he doesn't continue and carry on his conversation throughout his bus journey (and yours) across the 1.5 metres from the driver's seat to his seat. 

3) Group of Primary School Boys Or Girls

The power of doing things in a group - clearly shown by these boys and girls. Usually the groups are made up of all-boys or all-girls, but occasionally there are the groups with mixed genders (rare). These kids will stand in a group outside the queue, near the bus pick-up area. They have two types of looks. There is the group that's made up of sheepish kinds, and there is the group with the snooty kinds. I often believe these snooty kids grow up to be either one of the above adult-versions of the queue-cutter, but hey who am I to condemn these kids from their youth that they'll become obnoxious next time right... 

The sheepish kinds are awkward and often look like they don't want to cut everyone's queues, but because of the pack leader's disbelief in honouring queues, they simply follow what their pack leader says and cut queue. These kids hobble on the bus, without looking at a single person in the queue, and head straight for the first seat behind the exit door on the bus. They each take a seat and form up neatly. Pretty innocuous and easy to forgive, this bunch is.

The snooty kinds are confident and snobbish. Noses up in the air, thinking they're real bad-ass for cutting the bus queue. 

This is all I have to say: 

4) 'Gong' Aunty/Uncle (Holds a Masters in 'Acting Blur' & 'Blocking Way') 

'Gong' refers to being blur or dumb. I'm not saying that this aunty or uncle is really dumb or really blur, but that he/she acts blur. This uncle/aunty always comes to the front of the queue and looks around really hard for something. They look at 1 bus, they look at another bus, no one is really sure what bus they're planning to get on. They also commonly look lost and you feel instant pity on them, and want to genuinely help them get to their next destination... 

When the bus comes, they walk quickly to the bus, get up and ask the bus driver a variety of banal questions with regard to the roads.  The driver will helpfully answer his/her questions, and while this is happening, this uncle or aunty is often blocking the entrance of the bus so no one can get in... (Argh!) 

After they have sorted out their questions, they almost always sit the last seat before the exit door.

*** 

Of course, the list goes on. But here are just some of the common ones I've had the misfortune of meeting (frequently). In fact, every time I'm at this particular bus interchange, my queue gets cut. Is it just me or does my forehead inscribe "Oh come on, cut my queue!"? Sometimes I don't give a care in the world when my queue gets cut, but sometimes I get pretty ticked off by it. I'm not always in a bad mood and not always ready to make a sarcastic comment. I think it's just fundamental that people shouldn't do to others what they don't want others to do to them... 

So I don't cut queue, you don't cut queue too, okay?