It is the sight of them that truly reminds me that everyone around me, has aged.
Yesterday was chaotic at my place, hosting two sessions of baby shower for my niece, who was born slightly less than a month ago on the 27th of January, and baby thoughts have certainly crept their way into my idle mind.
Do not misunderstand, I am not interested in having my own baby now. Haha, no not now. As my school teacher put it, "Babies are always cute, if they are not your own." As much as people say her saying is cynical and basically not a very nice thing to say, I think it's a fair statement to make as an unmarried woman at that time (She is now married and has her own kids, so please do not deem her a spinster just from that statement.)
I mean most babies are really cute, until they barf on your favourite top or something or start bawling in the shopping mall, inconsolable, and bursting everyone's eardrums exercising their powerful lungs. (Spoken from the perspective if the kid is not your own.) At which point, most people will hurry to get the recently-transformed devil-in-your-arms to its real parents. Hahahaha. Common sight, always.
So anyway, both my sisters have advanced on the life ladder, earning their place, not just as "Married" but as "Married and with Kids". I have the luxury of having a twin niece and twin nephew. (I'm not sure how you'd express it, but ok the point is one nephew and one niece born on the same day.) And last month, a newborn niece.
I've also managed to see my sisters through their pregnancies from about the 3rd month (no announcements until past the first trimester) on to the very day of their delivery, the babies in all their vulnerable smallness and fragile necks, poo-filled diapers, the smell, the milk-vomiting, the incessant crying when you remove their clothes for a bath... etc. But I've also witnessed the joy and happiness these babies bring to my sisters and the family in general.
Babies unite people. Haha. Just look at how everyone crowds round a baby.
Haha. Now back to the real point I wanted to write about.
Yesterday's baby shower sessions opened my eyes to the fact that many of the people I've grown up with, or at least watched grow up along with me, are all slowly climbing up the "Life" ladder, including myself. Many are entering the house, no longer as 'teenagers' or 'singles' or 'dating couples' but entering as 'adults with careers', 'married - no longer dating - couples', 'married', 'engaged', 'married and expecting', 'married with kid(s)'. The older people who were originally adults are also now advancing into 'senior citizen' stage.
I think the most staggering part of it all was that some people have disappeared from the party invitation list because they have left this world.
To be fair, I am happy to be part of this ever-growing, ever-moving cycle. I live every day, I age every day... pretty much like everyone else. But it also scares me that every day may have a different outcome, and I am reminded that someone may disappear from my life just like that (or I myself, may disappear from this world). There is really no time for regrets, no time for hesitation.
Given a chance to be Edward Cullen and to live forever (minus all that blood-sucking and acting vegetarian drinking herbivores' blood...) on Earth, I suppose my answer would be no. It is too painful to watch your loved ones die away, and to be making new life for yourself for the rest of your life. The fact that I can change identity in every 50 years is pretty enticing, but other than that, living forever is just too painful.
Yesterday, it hit me that we're all (really) growing up, growing (really) old.
But the only steps we can take are forward.
Life will go on.
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